My portion
My only hope
Lamentations 3:22-24:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.”
It’s terribly, terribly easy for me to fall into a scarcity mindset. To tumble into a black hole of fear that I will never be enough or have enough. To believe that the fate of my day to day rests in my fleshly, controlling hands and if I try hard enough, I will feel…enough.
I know exactly how this happens. It’s when I let go of the Word and turn a wandering eye to what the world might have to give me instead. But take a minute with me and reread the first two sentences of the above verses…slowly…
Hmmm…it seems to me that I am rather wealthy, actually.
Love that never ceases? Mercies that never come to an end and that renew every single day? Faithfulness that is GREAT beyond measure?
Dear Lord, why, oh why do I insist on settling for cheap substitutes when this (ALL THIS) is ready and waiting, beckoning to me to come find true and sweet rest?
C. S. Lewis described me best:
“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses
Now let’s read verse 24 again.
Does my soul say this? Does my soul really and truly and wholly look up to Him and nowhere else? Can I confidently say that He, as my portion, is all I need, and I Iack nothing (Psalm 23)?
May this not just be something my mouth says, but my soul, my whole soul, every moment that I breathe. And this is only possible, I know, when the Spirit of God helps me grab onto and taste deeply (Psalm 34:8) the love, mercy and faithfulness He promises to me over and over in His Word.
And therefore, I have the biggest, best and deepest hope I will ever find.
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Goodness, that C.S Lewis quote about mud pies is a favorite of mine and it’s so so convicting. It’s hard to wrap our brains around the idea of God being rich in compassion and faithfulness and love and mercy. It can either sound too good to be true to the point we feel like we don’t deserve it, or on the opposite end of the spectrum because of our sinful nature, not compelling enough, so we reject it. Thank you for your thoughtful reflection on this!